Complicated as Thread? Is it Human?

What is the most important thing to seek in human life? You may say that question is quite difficult to answer as it could be anything. Who knows, could be money, fame, honor, God. For me, it’s definitely a relationship. Who dare to say that we can live alone? I know I won’t say that.

Human is complicated in its way that all of us, no matter how many of human kind in this whole world, are NOT the same. Even twins don’t have the same traits. They must have something they don’t share. That’s only from physical traits that can be seen by sight. It’s more complicate when considering from what they feel. Let’s say, from their hearts. Some people believe that they feel comfortable when they meet someone with similar personalities. But problems will eventually come out to the surface precisely from their similarities.

So, how can we relate to each other considering those complicated problem?

                No one knows how to solve that problem. We can only do whatever we can to survive as a human being; relate or making relationships. Some people also believe that a couple will be a have eternal love if they can deal with each other. They will have great relationship if they can complete each other. That is, to say that the man’s flaw must be covered by the woman and the other way around.

I found that impossible. Don’t you think so?

                I will not justify why we should or should not do something. I will not say that we should relate to someone or that we should be the loneliest human in mother earth. But all I know is that we NEED to. That’s human nature, I guess. Making relationship with another is very hard. There are no smooth sail for every couple in the world (at least from the people I know). A problem is like an air we breathe; it’s always there. Knowing that a relationship will not be perfect, we deal with it every day. Yes, that’s us, all right. We are pathetic for desperately trying and trying. Yet it’s what makes us human. So I guess it’s all right being pathetic.

I’m certainly not the right person to talk about relationship, actually. I am suck at relationship. Someone say that I’m selfish. So what? Who doesn’t? You may say I’m stubborn but I can’t help it. I’m a stubborn-and-selfish person ever. I had related to someone before and it can be considered as failure. We can’t make it work because one and other reasons. But for obvious reason, it is a commitment issue. Whoa, hold on, I wasn’t talking about marriage. I’m talking about one simple commitment like keeping a promise or do something like said before. You can say this in Indonesian word plin plan.

Let me tell you a story about relationship. Say this right, say this wrong – it’s up to you


When a boy meets a girl, the whole universe felt as if it’s only for them to own. They will laugh together, share their interest, keep each other feeling. Every single days spent together feels like heaven. It’s like cupid has shot the arrow through their very heart. A minute, an hour, a month apart would make them suffer. A ring of text messages tones on their cell phone feel like a song the Mockingbird sings. The boy will say every beautiful word from his thick thesaurus, while the girl will give her sweetest smile she can possibly gives.

The beginning of their love life is like in a fairy tale. Both must expect a happily-ever-after ending. They have great relationship as they have no fight for the first four months together. After like three months or so, they finally established their relationship into ‘in a relationship’. More and more connection is made during those sweet-like-heaven-months. Wait for a few months, things are starting to fall apart. The man, he would write poetry and write their story. But after a while, he does it no more. “Why should I worship you again? I already ‘get’ you inside my heart”, that’s what the boy thought. While the girl also thought, “I’m getting tired of smiling. Hadn’t you had enough of my beautiful smile?”

The innocent couple, guilty-as-charge because of their longing for love, keep on going with what they have. They thought they already know each other. They will stop finding out about each other. This IS what leads to problem no.2. The girl will think that the boy doesn’t care about her anymore, and the other way around. Quarrels are usually starts in this stage. The fight can be major or just minor. But aside from that, this will not bring their relationship break. They survive another month, maybe a year or so.

Then, what happens?

                Time is just not enough. They may not realize it yet, but they are getting tired of each other. Yes, they are tired of being in a relationship. Keeping each other’s feeling, trying to be honest, avoiding other who wants to be more-than-friend is VERY hard. They used to have time for each other, but not this time. Excuses are made just to avoid each other. They may get busy at school, work, family, or whatever. They just can’t find time for each other. This is a stage when things get so off. After fighting and fighting, they usually make promises to be a better human for each other. Couples who can’t take it much longer would simply break up at this point, but not them.


                The thing that’s keeping them together is now the promises they made. They try to survive the relationship by remembering how things were beautiful when they first met, pretty words spoken, quality times they spent together. However, not every promise said is truly from the deepest of one’s heart. A promise can be an escaping way to get fast forgiveness. Sooner or later, they will realize that they can’t keep their promises.

A promise is a sacred words needs to be done

                A broken promise means a broken relationship. The girl will shout to the boy to do as he promises, while the boy will say that he’s doing his best. The girl’s action does nothing to help their relationship work at all. She may be avoiding the boy, refuse to talk anymore. She thought that, if the boy can’t keep his promise now, then he won’t be able in a long term relationship. The boy may be trying his best to apologize, but his action is too late. There’s no taking back for what is done. It’s not all his fault, of course. It was both their mistake that their relationship won’t work.


So, what will you do to make a relationship work, with all those complicated problems?

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: If You’re Going to Sleep With Someone, Do This First: – West End Singleton
  2. Trackback: You Can’t Handle the Truth « sisca21melia
  3. gng1
    Jun 05, 2012 @ 16:04:08

    Great story and very interesting perspective on stating differences and similarities on personality, and conflict in this relationship.


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